Geography of emotions

When asked about what she felt Simone answered that it wasn’t easy to explain! For many years she tried to deal with what was going on inside her, with her feelings about what she had seen. She didn’t knew how, and where, she had kept all that! Definitely, she didn’t know what to answer. Paul could tell all she wanted was to be left alone now; she didn’t really want to be having that conversation. Just by looking at her anyone could see she didn’t want to talk anymore. Her hands and legs were restless, willing to move out from that room and from that life. Her mind was already outside, and the body would soon follow.

Suddenly Paul went to the window, turned his back on her, and stared at the quiet marshes as he lighted a cigarette. It was very cold outside. He stood like that for quite a while, silent as the day itself, lost in his thoughts for a long moment. And when she made a movement to leave he asked her suddenly, without facing her:

- And if it happens again Simone? How will you deal with it?

She sat back again and stared at him, waiting for him to turn and face her. But he didn’t, his eyes kept looking at the marshes, and she felt an urge to hit him, to hit him hard for what he was doing, for all his questions, for making her remind. But instead she lowered her eyes to her waist, smiled grotesquely, and caressed her left wrist with her right hand. She thought: Behind all those windows something must be happening… She stared at the bottle of whiskey over a little table in a corner of the room, and with her right hand she took a small knife from the pocket of her bathrobe. Then she spoke, as she stood up:

- I need a drink, Paul! I really need a drink now!

(Photography: Purmerend, Holland, March 2001 / Text: Coimbra, Portugal, April 24th, 2006)

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